精彩对白

Donkey: My mama used to always say, 'Christmas ain't Christmas till somebody cries!' Usually that someone's me.
Bookstore Clerk: I know all about Christmas, and I have just the book for you: 'Christmas For Village Idiots.'
Donkey: 'Twas the night before Christmas / And I spent all the day / Finishing up on my Christmas display. / Now missing all this / Would be nothing but tragic, / So just follow me and I'll show you the magic. / Now out in the yard / In a glorious clutter / Is a spectacle there / That'll make your heart flutter. / With 20-foot cheese balls / And a big egg nog fountain / And yodeling elves / On an ambrosia mountain. / A stage where acrobats / Jump, leap, and prance / And honor the day / through interpretive dance.
Puss in Boots: He was dressed all in fur / From his head to his paws / And he stood there heroic, / A real Santa... Claws. / Red are his boots / And so is his cape; / His sword is a thing / That tastes like crabcake. / He wears a fine belt / And a leather cravat / And there is a cute, fuzzy thing / Which hangs down from his... hat.
[purring and tapping on bell]
Donkey: Oh, man, it's finally here! Tomorrow's Christmas Eve! You got everything ready?
Shrek: No.
Donkey: You mean you haven't trimmed your stockings or hung your chestnuts or roasted the tree?
Shrek: No!
Donkey: Or figgified your pudding?
Shrek: Donkey! Will you get it through your thick head: no one here gives a hoot about Christmas!
Donkey: Yeah? Well, that's a real nice way to treat your guests on Christmas. And if you think I am going to give you a present now, you are sadly mistaken.
Shrek: You want to give me a present? Then go away! That's all I wanted!
Donkey: Fine! I'm going!
Shrek: Good! Then go!
Donkey: You go and have yourself a merry Christmas, Ebeneezer Shrek!
Shrek: And a Bah Humbug to you, too!
Gingerbread Man: I don't feel so well.
[throws up]
Gingerbread Man: I feel better now.
Donkey: Ooh, a chocolate chip!
[eats Gingy's throw-up]
Princess Fiona: I have to go back to the house now.
Shrek: I'm surprise there's still a house to go back to.
[after Gingy tells of how Santa ate his girlfriend]
Donkey: Wait a minute. That's not how it happened.
Gingerbread Man: You weren't there!