精彩对白

Dale Doback: Barbara Walters, Oprah, your wife. You gotta fuck one, kill one, and marry one, go!
Dale Doback: [as they are called back into the office for their first interview] We're here to fuck shit up!
Brennan Huff: Robert better not get in my face... 'cause I'll drop that motherfucker!
Brennan Huff: I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!
Derek: So, what do we do now?
Brennan Huff: We could hug?
Derek: Yeah, you'd like that, you faggot!... I'm sorry, I'm new to this.
Brennan Huff: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls!
Dale Doback: [after hearing Brennan sing] You have the voice of an angel. I mean, it's like Fergie meets Jesus.
Brennan Huff: I have a belly full of white dog crap, and now you lay this shit on me?
Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!
Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!
Brennan Huff: [to Dale] You're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck!
Brennan Huff: Shut your mouth. Sh-sh-shut your mouth.
Brennan Huff: Eat shit Derek!
Brennan Huff: [in his therapist's fantasy] I've traveled five hundred miles to deliver my seed.
Dale Doback: [both waking up from dreams on top of each other] Oh no, I'm late for school.
Brennan Huff: I'll kiss you on the lips, Kenny Rodgers.
Brennan Huff: I tea-bagged your drum set!
Brennan Huff: This wedding is horse shit!
Brennan Huff: You are making an ass out of yourself, you geriatric fuck!
Dr. Robert Doback: Rock the fuck out of those drums, Dale.
Dale Doback: Can we turn our beds into bunkbeds?
Brennan Huff: It will give us so much extra space in our room to do activities!
Dr. Robert Doback: Your adults, you can do what you want.
Dale Doback: This is the funnest night ever!
Alice, Derek, Dr. Robert Doback: Fucking Catalina Wine-Mixer!
Alice: Stay gold, Ponyboy.
Derek: Brennan has a man-gina.
Brennan Huff: You better not close your eyes, because as soon as you do, I'm gonna punch you square in the face!
Dr. Robert Doback: One day my father just said, "Goddamn it, you're seventeen, stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job!"
Dale Doback: I manage a baseball team.
Nancy Huff: Oh, little league?
Dale Doback: Fantasy league.
Sporting Goods Manager: [after Dale finishes his very prolonged fart] Was that a fart?
Dale Doback: Yea...
Sporting Goods Manager: I can taste that one...is that...onions and ketchup? Now I'm starting to realize the tuxedos are kinda fucked up.
Randy: Pow!
Dale Doback: Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and grabs me by the weiner.
Dr. Robert Doback: Shut the fuck up!
Brennan Huff: I'm so scared right now. I'm just gonna to do what's sensible, I'm gonna file for unemployment. Then I'm gonna try to get a job at Enterprise Rent-A-Car, because they got an excellent corporate structure and they... *they* give *you* the tools to be your own boss.
Dale Doback: [while Brennan is singing] Boats and hos.
Brennan Huff: Holy Fucking Santa Claus Shit!
Brennan Huff: [mowing lawn, dressed as Nazi] Hey Derek, sprechen sie dick?
Nancy Huff: What the fucking fuck?!
Dr. Robert Doback: We're putting the house on the market.
Dale Doback: Where are we moving?
Brennan Huff: Is the house haunted?
Brennan Huff: Hold on. We're not going on the boat, Derek's selling the house, and we have to go to therapy?
Dr. Robert Doback: Yeah.
Brennan Huff: What the fuck happened?!
Brennan Huff: I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home.
Dale Doback: My dad and I decided that Nancy's kind of hot, so maybe we should just both bang her and in the meantime deal with the retard.
Brennan Huff: Who's the retard?
Dale Doback: You.
Brennan Huff: Oh.
Dr. Robert Doback: [about his dream to be a dinosaur] So I thought, I'll be a doctor for a little while... and then go back to that.
Brennan Huff: How is that even a skill?
Derek: You can have some dope parties on this lawn.
Second Homebuyer Husband: You don't have to talk like that. You can just say it's nice.
Derek: Nah, that's how I talk. Look at this door, it's fresh.
Dale Doback: Why are you so sweaty?
Brennan Huff: I was watching Cops.
Brennan Huff: I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy!
Brennan Huff: Hey Derek? You know what I hear is good for shoulder pain?... You lick my butt hole.